Lessons from a Memorial Service

It was a tough Saturday.   


Going to a memorial service for a 19 year-old, and seeing your son in many of the pictures with the teenager who died gives you pause.  


Hearing surviving friends, college roommates, and even a college dean talk about this amazing person with so much promise and filled with light gives you the sense that we lost someone very special.  (And we truly did lose someone very special - as beautiful as she was on the outside, she was exponentially more beautiful on the inside.)  


Watching her parents, calm and collected, surrounded by close family, unable to speak at the service, makes you feel utterly heartbroken.  Heartbroken for the  child they lost.  Heartbroken for the future they lost.  Heartbroken for the answer to the question - How do you go on from here?  I can’t imagine remembering to breathe, let alone trying to put a life back together that has some semblance of normal.


Lesson learned:  The stories told were inspiring - in so many ways there are so many things I could learn from her.  I know I will keep processing this for a while, but for today my lesson is lead with kindness and assume others have good intentions.   She did, and she was a better person for it. 

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 21, 2021 at 7:16 AM

    I'm so sorry. Such moments do bring a clarity to life that is jarring.

    Processing these moments takes time and intentionality and you've modeled that here. May the lessons learned and action taken be a bright spot in the sadness and grief. - TW

    ReplyDelete
  2. drferreriblogspot.comMarch 21, 2021 at 8:21 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of someone with so much potential is particularly painful and the reminder to lead with kindness is particularly intense.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Club sponsorMarch 21, 2021 at 8:22 AM

    I am saddened to hear of this tremendous loss. My heart goes out to you, your son, and her family/friends. Thank you for this heartfelt and honest post.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lies I Tell Myself Every Stinkin' Day

I lie to myself.  Every day.  Multiple times.   Tomorrow you will get up at 6:15 and not look at your phone or hit the snooze button.  Lies - I got out of bed at 6:35 after two snooze hits and looked at Facebook just to procrastinate. You can take a five minute shower and be dressed by 6:45.  Lies - I was dressed around 6:53. I can start Rory’s walk at 7:10.  Lie - I left my bedroom at 7:11. You can make it to work on time by 8:40.  Truth.  I was in the parking lot at 8:35. You will stay within your calorie range today.  BIG LIE - I was making chocolate chip cookies and probably ate at least four before they hit the oven.  (I can’t be expected to not eat cookie dough.  What kind of person would I be if I didn’t taste test the cookies before I gave them away?) Lights will be out by 10:30. Lie - I had to finish my book club book, and then I wanted to send a text to my son at college.  Then he responded so I had to see that, ...
Read more

Board Games in an RV: Who Knew How Much Fun That Could Be?

  3/6 The Summer of 2013 and my family was on an RV vacation in Wyoming at Yellowstone National Park.  We had seen Old Faithful erupt.  Amazing.  We had looked at the little museum dedicated to Old Faithful which explained how and when it erupted.   Our traveling companions had decided on having a fancy dinner at the beautiful lodge at  Old Faithful.  My family of picky eaters, having seen the menu, said no thanks and decided to take their chances at the cafeteria. We then had about two hours to burn until we met up with them again.    What to do?  I always feel like we should take full advantage of an experience because who knows when you will be back there.  There had to be some other sights or trails or something to see around Old Faithful.  Maybe we should see the erupting geyser again.   Well, my family did not share my enthusiasm.  They were tired.  For a family of introverts, traveling in two RVs with...
Read more

Morning Pre-Dog and Mornings With Dog

Image
I am not a morning person.  I get up later than I should.  I leave for work as late as I feel comfortable, and that time slides back as the year goes on.  My children are self-sufficient.  Jake is at college so I don’t have to worry about him.  Luke is a junior in high school so my only job is to make sure that he is awake in time to catch the bus or to make his way down the hall to his computer.    The morning was as simple as it could be.  I say “was” because my family adopted a puppy in May 2020.  I was at the point in my life that no one relied on me in the morning.  Now Rory relies on me. In the morning.   I am not good at mornings - did I say that already? I have tried various arrangements of my morning routine to see what works and gets me into work on time.  Old routine - wake up at 6:45, shower & get dressed, do hair, grab stuff leave house at 7:30, arrive at 8:00, 40 minutes before sign in. New routine -...
Read more