Making Decisions - Something I Am Working On

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I hate making decisions.  I am always the first to jump in and criticize myself the second my decision looks like it may lead to an undesirable end.  Then I think longingly about the other choice and admonish myself - how could I not have seen the other side?  Why did I make the choice I did?  So I agonize over many decisions, especially the bigger ones. 

My current decision is whether or not to take a rental RV on a not-recommended-to-take-an RV road when we travel to Alaska this summer.   If we take it, we are fully liable for anything that goes wrong - flat tires are super common on this road.  We may lose money and precious time if something happens to the RV.  If we don’t take it, transportation will cost many hundreds of dollars for my family of four.  

Making this decision has made me super reflective about how I make big decisions.  I do my research (Don’t take the RV), I talk to an expert who lives off the road (Take the RV), I talk to my husband (Easy choice - take the RV), and then I do more research (Really, don’t take the RV).  

I think about this August decision multiple times a day (to be fair, there is nothing else exciting to think about because of the pandemic, and I do need to book things way in advance).  But I torture myself, feeling totally one way at 9:00 and another at 3:00.  

Why am I so wishy-washy?  Fear?  Fear of making the wrong decision?  Fear of the consequences if I choose “wrong”?  Fear of being made fun of when the road is in perfect condition on a sunny day, and we spent an exorbitant amount of money for transportation when we already had transportation?

I read a leadership blog every day, and he talks about freezing when making decisions.  It is better to make the best decision you can with the information you have and move on. If it doesn’t turn out perfectly, show yourself some grace and learn.

Last night I told my family I was thinking about the decision and that I had decided to spend the money for the transportation so that the RV would remain intact, and we wouldn’t deal with the possibility of losing time in dealing with problems along the road.   

I did a gut check.  How did I feel about this?  If the road was in great condition and someone made fun of me, would I be ok?  After a deep breath, I decided that, yes, I would be ok.  

A few seconds after this, my son chimed in, “Good decision, Mom.” Not everyone in my family agreed with me, and who knows how this will go, but I need to learn to make decisions and move forward, and this was the first step.

Lesson learned: Reflect on your life patterns, make a move, and give yourself grace if it does not always work out perfectly. Because it won’t.